Bookish Thoughts: Vow of Justice

"Just remember.  Justice and revenge are two very different things."  Lincoln St. John

Description:

Playing dead might just get her killed

FBI Special Agent Lincoln St. John is living his own personal nightmare. When the woman he loves, Allison Radcliffe, is killed, he devotes himself to tracking down the killers and making them pay for their crimes. He expected it to be a challenge. What he never expected was to find Allison very much alive shortly after her "murder."

As his anger and hurt mix with relief, Linc isn't sure how he's supposed to feel. One thing he does know for sure: he and Allison will have to work together to stop a killer before she dies a second time--this time for good.

About the Author:

Lynette Eason is the bestselling author of Oath of Honor, Called to Protect, and Code of Valor, as well as the Women of Justice, Deadly Reunions, Hidden Identity, and Elite Guardians series. She is the winner of three ACFW Carol Awards, the Selah Award, and the Inspirational Reader's Choice Award, among others. She is a graduate of the University of South Carolina and has a master's degree in education from Converse College. Eason lives in South Carolina with her husband and two children. Learn more at www.lynetteeason.com.

My thoughts:

For anyone who doesn’t know, this is the forth (and final, I believe) book in Lynette Eason’s “Blue Justice” series.  I read the first one when it released early last year, but somehow missed books 2 and 3, something I will soon be rectifying!  I’ve greatly enjoyed pretty much all of Ms. Eason’s books that I’ve ever picked up and this one is certainly no exception!  

Despite not having read them in the correct order, I didn’t feel as though I was playing catch up when I started this one, something I really appreciated.  Ms. Eason does an excellent job of pulling in characters and details of her past books, while also filling in enough backstory that they can be read as stand-alone novels, if desired . . . though I’m honestly not sure why anyone would want to do that.  After reading this one, I’m super excited to go back and read the others, now!  I love that this series follows a family and how the author includes that in the story, even in something as simple as sibling teasing to lighten the tension that is constantly building.  I so enjoyed getting to know Lincoln St. John better.  He is the common sense of the team, while Allison Radcliffe seems more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants kind of impulsive.  I loved her determination to protect those around her and her desire to see justice done.  I also greatly appreciated how the author wove themes of justice vs. vengeance into the story and how that was not only spoken of, but also shown in the decisions and actions the characters chose.  By the time I turned the final page, I felt as though I’d been there with them every step of the way, through dangerous situations and at times, painful choices.     

Ms. Eason has long been one of my go-to authors for suspense and this book may be one of her most intriguing, yet.  Something was constantly happening that kept me flipping pages long past my bedtime and as soon as I could grab it again after work.  I did get a little lost on the timeline of things, occasionally, with how quickly everything was happening.  And for mystery lovers, I will forewarn you that I did find part of the plot twist predictable, but maybe that was just me.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book and am looking forward to tracking down the other “Blue Justice” novels!

*My thanks to the publisher for my copy of this book!  I was not required to write a review, positive or otherwise, and have not been compensated for it in any way.  All opinions expressed are my own.

As always, thank you so much for taking the time to stop and read my review!  I truly appreciate that you chose to spend your time reading my blog, when there are a few hundred like it.  :) 

Per my usual MO (I've obviously been reading a lot of cop books lately), links for the book are below, if you'd like to learn more about it and the other St. John siblings.

Have an awesome day! 

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Bookish Thoughts: The Killing Tide

I still find this cover super trippy!  And it's an odd texture, if you get to hold the paper version in your hands. . . . I'm also only 3 days late posting a "happy release day!" review and considering the busyness of this season in my life, I'm going to just take that as a win. :) 

Description:

When one Coast Guard officer is found dead and another goes missing, Coast Guard Investigative Service special agent Finn Walker faces his most dangerous crime yet. His only clues are what little evidence remains aboard the dead officer's boat, and the direction the clues point to will test Finn and the Guard to their limits.

When investigative reporter--and Finn's boss's sister--Gabby Rowley arrives, her unrelenting questions complicate an already volatile situation. Now that she's back, the tug on Finn's heart is strong, but with the risks she's taking for her next big story, he fears she might not live through it.

Thrown together by the heinous crime, Finn and Gabby can't ignore the sparks or judgments flying between them. But will they be able to see past their preconceptions long enough to track down an elusive killer, or will they become his next mark?

About the Author:

Praised by New York Times bestselling author Dee Henderson as "a name to look for in romantic suspense," Dani Pettrey has sold more than half a million copies of her novels to readers eagerly awaiting the next release. She is the bestselling author of the Chesapeake Valor series and the Alaskan Courage series and winner of the Daphne du Maurier Award, two HOLT Medallions, two National Readers' Choice Awards, the Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence, and Christian Retailing's Best Award. She and her husband reside in Maryland. She can be found online at www.danipettrey.com.

My Thoughts:

This is the first book in Dani Pettrey’s new Coastal Guardians series!  I’ve been a big fan of her books since Submerged and was super excited for this one.  I always love first books, with all the potential for new stories and new characters, and this one definitely met all my expectations and exceeded a few of them!

As usual, my favorite part of this book was the characters.  Gabby and Finn are for sure on the list of favorite characters from Ms. Pettrey’s books, though I’m pretty confident most of the other characters on the team are going to fall into that category, too.  Gabby is an investigative reporter, staying with her family after making an enemy who now wants her dead.  To go with that, she’s stubborn, curious, determined, and kind.  Finn, part of the Coast Guard Investigative Service, has some things in his past that haunt him, but that he doesn’t let that stop him from doing what’s right.  I loved his integrity and loyalty to his friends.  He’s also as stubborn if not more so than Gabby, and determined to keep her safe.  I enjoyed watching them butt heads and learn to work together, but also become something more.  I so enjoyed how the story didn’t solely focus on them as a couple, but came from multiple perspectives within the team.  Sometimes the switching between characters’ thoughts was a little confusing for me, but not too bad, once I caught back up.  The momentary confusion was definitely worth what it added to the story.

Can we talk about the mystery and suspense for a moment?  It was definitely suspenseful - Ms. Pettrey is well known for keeping the tension running throughout the story and this one is definitely not an exception!  I loved the mystery, too!  I spent the entire story trying to guess “whodunit” and didn’t have a clue, which was great!  I appreciate books that can stump and surprise me.  My only bit of negative to that is something that happened in the end (I’m not going to spoil) seemed more than a little far fetched.  But it wasn’t a big enough issue to ruin the story for me.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book!  I would highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys mystery and suspense!

*My thanks to the author and publisher for my copy of this book!  I was not required to write a review, positive or otherwise, and have not been compensated for it in any way.  All opinions expressed are my own.

As always, thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to read my review!  I had this goal of posting at least 2 reviews a month, but summer and some exciting news has kind of interrupted that plan.  And that's okay.  I might get there, eventually. 

Anyway!  Links are below, if you'd like to check out the book further and maybe read some other opinions of it.  

Have a great day and weekend! 

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Bookish Thoughts: Storm Rising

Happy release day!  Leif is officially hitting shelves today! 

Description:

Does an Ancient Book of Prophecy Hold the Answers to Saving the World . . . Or Predict Its Destruction?

Mentioned in the pages of the Old Testament but lost to history, the Book of the Wars has resurfaced, and its pages hold secrets--and dangers--never before seen on earth.

Tasked with capturing the ancient text, former Navy SEAL Leif Metcalfe is once more given command of his own team. But their best efforts are ruined when a notorious Bulgarian operative known as Viorica snatches the volume right out from under them.

Iskra "Viorica" Todorova is determined to use the book to secure the thing that matters most--freedom. But a series of strange storms erupts around the globe, and the coming dangers foretold in the text threaten crops, lives, and entire nations. Though both are haunted by secrets of the past and neither trusts the other, Leif and Iskra must form an uneasy alliance to thwart impending disaster. However, the truth hidden in centuries-old words could unleash a storm of their own destruction.

About the Author:

Ronie Kendig is an award-winning, bestselling author of over twenty novels. She grew up an Army brat, and now she and her Army-veteran husband live outside New York City with their children and a retired military working dog. Ronie's degree in psychology has helped her pen novels of intense, raw characters. Visit her at www.roniekendig.com.

My Thoughts:

I have so many thoughts for this book!  And then my mind is blank trying to figure out what to say about it.  I’ve been a fan of Ronie Kendig’s books for years - she actually is the first to really get me hooked on military novels - and was so stoked for this book!  I’ve yet to be disappointed by any of her books and this one is certainly not the exception.  I was on the proverbial edge of my seat the entire story and only put it down under duress (otherwise known as work) or sleep deprivation.

As always, Ms. Kendig kept the suspense and action going from beginning to end.  I often felt as though I was there with the team, racing against the “bad guys” and the clock.  I loved getting to know this newly formed team of characters, though some of them are familiar from previous stories.  I so enjoyed the banter and general aggravation they use to nudge one another along, as well as Leif’s jokes!  I tend to try not to play favorites with a group of characters like this one, but there are definitely had a couple that I couldn’t resist.  Like the one with a thing for superhero references . . . .  One of my favorite things about all of Kendig’s books is how she’s able to switch the story around from several different perspectives without my getting lost or the story losing momentum.  I find it allows me to get to know more of the team than just the two or three characters that tend to have the leading roles in the story. 

I also loved the historical aspects of the book and am now immensely curious about the Book of Wars, because I’m nerdy like that.  I appreciate that this story isn’t just one military op after another, but rather there’s a couple different mysteries going on as well, which I’m hoping will continue to be pursued in the next book.  Speaking of, the cliffhanger here definitely has me incredibly impatient for “Kings Falling”!  Which means I’ll probably just be rereading all of Ms. Kendig’s books until March 2020, when it’s slated to hit stores. 

Overall, I would highly recommend this book if you enjoy edge of your seat suspense with some Tomb-Raider-meets-Indiana-Jones-and-probably-some-other-analogy-that-better-suits antiquity action.

*My thanks to the author and publisher for my copy of this book!  I was not required to write a review, positive or otherwise, and have not been compensated for it in any way.  All opinions expressed are my own.

Thanks for stopping by!  I'm super excited to celebrate this book's release!  I've been waiting for weeks to talk about it and now I can share it with you and geek out with some friends who share my nerdiness and excitement for Ronie's books! 

As always, purchase and Goodreads and links are below.   :) 

Have a ducky day and a great Independence Day! 

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Bookish Thoughts: More Than Words Can Say

Description:

After fulfilling a pledge to a dying friend, Zacharias Hamilton is finally free to live life on his own terms. No opportunities to disappoint those he cares about, just the quiet bachelor existence he's always craved. Until fate snatches his freedom away once again when the baker of his favorite breakfast treat is railroaded by the city council. As hard as he tries to avoid getting involved, he can't turn a blind eye to her predicament . . . or her adorable dimples.

Abigail Kemp needs a man's name on her bakery's deed. A marriage of convenience seems the best solution . . . if it involves a man she can control. Not the stoic lumberman who oozes confidence without saying a word whenever he enters her shop. Control Zacharias Hamilton? She can't even control her pulse when she's around him.

Once vows are spoken, Abigail's troubles should be over. Yet threats to the bakery worsen, and darker dangers hound her sister. As trust grows between Zach and Abby, she finds she wants more than his rescue. She wants his heart.

About the Author:

Winner of the HOLT Medallion and the Carol Award and a finalist for the RITA and Christy Award, bestselling author Karen Witemeyer writes historical romance to give the world more happily-ever-afters. Karen makes her home in Abilene, Texas, with her husband and three children. Learn more about Karen and her books at www.karenwitemeyer.com.

My Thoughts:

I confess, I haven’t been keeping up with Karen Witemeyer’s books like I had been. Not because I wasn’t enjoying them, just that life got busy and my reading time reduced drastically. I’m definitely a sucker for marriage of convenience tales, though, and when I saw the cover for this one, I knew I had to read it! Especially after reading the first book, “More Than Meet the Eye” and getting just a small glimpse into Zacharias Hamilton and his quiet, stoic ways. Like its predecessor, this book was a quick, thought-provoking, entertaining read that I would happily pick up again!

What makes or breaks any story for me is the characters and I definitely enjoyed getting to know these new additions! Mrs. Witemeyer has a knack for creating intriguing characters that wrap around your heart and draw you into their story.  I was super excited that this book would be Zacharias’ story and was curious to see where it would go. I was immediately drawn in from the very first page and didn’t want to put it down! (unfortunately, real life tends to intrude) He’s a character not particularly known for effusive ways and is running from a past he can’t erase. I always so appreciate the spiritual truths this author shares and the encouragement found within her books. 

"Guilt leads us to confession and repentance, she told me, but after we take it to the cross,

 we're supposed to leave it there, not carry it around with us.  

Jesus's burden is light.  Guilt is heavy.   Satan is the one who wants 

to increase our burden, to weigh us down with shame and despair, 

to steal our joy and the strength of the Lord that goes with it.  

Believing his lies instead of God's truth makes us weak."  

- Abigail Kemp 

This one focuses on trusting God and finding His forgiveness is always there, waiting for us to accept it. I found Abby to be an excellent counterpart for him, with her no-nonsense ways and independent streak. I loved that he saw her beauty, when she wasn’t so sure. And the kisses! There’s definitely quite a bit of sparks and flirting, which I adored! I also loved getting to know Rosalind and am really hoping the next book is hers! My only mild negative is that I found part of the story to be a bit anti-climatic. And felt something of it was left unfinished. Though if the next book follows the character I’m hoping it will, then I’m assuming that will be cleared up in it.

Overall, I greatly enjoyed this book and would have raced through it in one sitting, given the chance!

*My thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for my copy of this book! I was not required to write a review, positive or otherwise, and have not been compensated for it in any way. All opinions expressed are my own.

Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read my review!  If you'd like to learn more about the book or possibly consider purchasing a copy, links are below, as always!

Have a lovely day! 

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Bookish Thoughts: Now, Then, And Always

Can we start out by just taking a moment and appreciating how beautiful this cover is?  Truly, if I didn’t already adore Melissa Tagg’s books, this cover alone would have had me scooping it off the shelf and into my collection!

Description:

“It was just a house. Just a weathered old house in a hidden grove, shuttered and still . . . ”

Last year, after traumatic circumstances forced her from her job as a nanny, Mara Bristol finally found a place to belong—the winsome Everwood Bed & Breakfast at the edge of Maple Valley, Iowa. For months, she’s helped its owner, Lenora, maintain the ramshackle property despite their shortage of guests. But when Lenora fails to return from a month-long trip and the bank threatens foreclosure, Mara worries she’s once again alone . . . abandoned . . . about to lose the only true home she’s ever known.

Detective Marshall Hawkins is no closer to whole today than he was two years ago . . . the day his daughter died. Between his divorce, debilitating migraines, and a dependence on medication, his life is falling apart. And when a reckless decision on the job propels him into administrative leave, he has no other plan but to get in his truck and drive. A one-night stay at the Everwood was supposed to be just that. But there’s something about the old house—or maybe its intriguing caretaker—that pulls him in.

Together, Mara and Marshall set out to save the Everwood. But its secrets run deeper than they could’ve imagined. As they renovate the house and search for its missing owner, they’ll each confront the pain that brought them to the Everwood in the first place . . . and just maybe discover a faith and love to help them carry on.

About the Author:

Melissa Tagg is the award-winning author of the popular Walker Family series, the Where Love Begins series and the Enchanted Christmas Collection. She’s a former reporter, current nonprofit grant writer and total Iowa girl.
Melissa's recent releases include a 2018 ACFW Carol Award Winner (One Enchanted Noel), an RT Book Reviews TOP PICK (All This Time) and a Publishers Weekly Spring Top Ten Pick (Like Never Before).
Melissa has taught at multiple national writing conferences, as well as workshops and women’s retreats. When she’s not writing, she can be found hanging out with the coolest family ever—not that she’s biased—watching old movies, and daydreaming about her next book. Melissa loves connecting with readers at www.melissatagg.com and on Facebook and Instagram.

My Thoughts:

This book is beautiful, in ways beyond the cover, though it is lovely . . . the depth of story exceeds it by far.  I’ve been a huge fan of Melissa Tagg’s books for a while now and I’ve long since fallen in love with the small town of Maple Valley, Iowa.  Though her other books have standing homes on my keeper shelf, I do have to say that this one is quite possibly my favorite to date!  The characters, the story, the mystery, the quirky town all come together to make this a book that I indubitably had a book-hangover from. 

Ms. Tagg has a way with writing that I can’t easily describe.  Her words flow like poetry, painting the pages with colorful descriptions that bring her characters and their homes to life.  I love the dialogue and banter that flows, inspiring more than one couldn’t-hold-it-back laugh and curious looks from others sitting nearby.  I couldn’t resist the mystery within the pages, either.  I was intrigued from the first paragraph and found myself rushing to get as much reading time as possible.  I had to know what was going to happen with the Everwood and it’s occupants and where the story would go next!  

"But I don't want to spend my life letting my pain 

be the lens through which I see the world." - Mara Bristol 

Of all of this, I would have to say that my absolute favorite thing about this story is the heart behind it.  There are so many great lines I could share, though they surely wouldn’t do justice to all that is found in this tale of pain, of grief and brokenness, but also hope and healing.  This novel that encouraged laughter, but also had tears slipping down my cheeks at the honest questions asked and the difficult answers given.  These characters touched my heart with their authenticity and the exceptional grace with which the author handled such sensitive subjects.

"But when I was in my deepest pain, God came for me. 

 He didn't leave me in an injured pile on the sidewalk, 

nor did he stand around waiting for me to get up and move.  

He came running for me." -  Penny

Overall, I would highly recommend this book to everyone!  Whether this is your favorite genre or you’re not sure if a rom-com is quite what you’re looking for, I believe you’d be more than pleasantly surprised.

There are so many more quotes I'd love to share, but I don't want to spoil the fun of finding them yourself!  So I shall refrain. . . . If I have to. . . . I guess.  ;)

Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to check out this space!  As always, if you'd like to learn more about the book, or maybe add it to your GoodReads shelf, links are below! 

Have a beautiful day! 

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Bookish Thoughts: The Number of Love

"She was worth waiting for.  Worth seeking hour by hour, day by day, month by month.  Year by year.  Even if it took him a decade to convince her to be his, it would be worth it.  And the wait would only make him appreciate her all the more."  (pg 249)

Description:

Three years into the Great War, England's greatest asset is their intelligence network--field agents risking their lives to gather information, and codebreakers able to crack German telegrams for hints of the enemy's plans. Margot De Wilde thrives in the environment of the secretive Room 40, where she spends her days deciphering intercepted messages. But when her world is turned upside down by an unexpected loss, she discovers for the first time in her life that numbers aren't enough.

Drake Elton returns wounded from the field, followed by an enemy who just won't give up. He's smitten quickly by the quick and brainy Margot, but soon the dangers of the war draw ever closer. Margot and Drake will have to team up to save themselves from the very secrets that brought them together.

About the Author:

Roseanna M. White (www.roseannamwhite.com) is a bestselling, Christy Award-nominated author who has long claimed that words are the air she breathes. When not writing fiction, she's homeschooling her two kids, designing book covers, editing, and pretending her house will clean itself. Roseanna is the author of a slew of historical novels that span several continents and thousands of years. Spies and war and mayhem always seem to find their way into her books . . . to offset her real life, which is blessedly ordinary.

You can find Roseanna online at the following places:
Facebook
Blog
Website
Twitter
Instagram
Pinterest

My Thoughts:

There are so many things I want to say about this story, but I’m not entirely sure where to start . . . . I’ve been a big fan of Roseanna M. White’s since first reading her Culper Ring series and have been hooked ever since!  I so enjoy how she writes different time periods and the elements she draws into her stories.  I can’t fully describe it, but her books draw me in and leave me wishing they were at least another hundred pages longer.  And this one is certainly no exception to that rule! 

I’ve been anxiously awaiting this book for months, intrigued by the coderbreakers concept and the storyline in general.  All that waiting and curiosity and I somehow totally missed that one of the main characters in this story, Margot De Wilde, was first introduced as Lukas’ De Wilde’s little sister in “A Song Unheard.”  While this series is technically separate from the previous ones, I was super excited to have some of the characters return, even just briefly.  As always, Ms. White has done an excellent job crafting a story that both intrigued me and also almost brought me to tears a time or two.  I loved the characters and getting to know the people in Room 40.  Margot is such a unique character, with her intelligence and straight-forwardness.  I so enjoyed getting to see the world from her perspective, with numbers involved in everything, including prayer.  And who doesn’t love Drake Elton?  Truly, he is such an excellent hero for this story and for Margot!  I so appreciated his quick wit, insightful questions, and care of both Margot and his sister, Dot.  The mystery is also written in such a way that kept me guessing through most of the book and turning pages as quickly as my mind could absorb.

"She didn't know how to reach Him now, when it wasn't easy anymore.  

She didn't know how to find Him when He wasn't just right there.  

She didn't know how to know Him when the numbers were silent."  (pg 238)

The author also handled the topic of grief exceptionally well.  Not to spoil anything, but it is key in this story, especially with war raging around them.  This part of the novel hit home with me in more ways than one and as something that can be extremely hard to talk about in general, I so appreciated how it was broached and the kindness within the words.

Overall, this is definitely a book that will be finding a home on my keeper shelf!  I highly recommend it if you enjoy historical fiction, mysteries, and characters that seem more like family by the end!

*My thanks to the author and publisher for my copy of this book!  I was not required to write a review, positive or otherwise, and have not been compensated for it in any way.  All opinions expressed are my own. 

Truthfully, I found some parts of this book hard to read.  Really hard.  Especially when one of the characters is wrestling with something that I still don't know how to answer, even more than a year later.  But it was so good, too!  And I love how God uses fiction to show us or maybe just remind us of things.  Even difficult things. 

Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read my review!  If you'd like to learn more about the book, of course, links are below.  

Have a lovely day! 

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Reflection: Mother's Day

I’ve seen and heard quite a few people (friends, mostly) who have lost their moms talking about “motherless mother’s day.”  I don’t know about anyone else, but I greatly dislike that distinction.  I have and am struggling with this day.  I’ve dreaded it.  I’ve cried just thinking about it.  The wrestling of celebrating other moms when mine isn’t here with me.  But I was reminded that God’s Word says, “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” (John 14:18)  I’m still trying to grasp this myself, but we are not alone.  God, our Father, who created mothers and fathers, is with us.  Though it still hurts.  Though tears still leak today, when past memories and the loss of memories unmade seem overwhelming.

 I miss my mom.  It’s been just over a year (15 months and some odd days) since she went home to be with Jesus.  I can say that, “She went home to be with Jesus.”  But saying that she died?  That hurts a lot more.  I don’t like that word.  It sounds so final.  Like this life is all we have and then it’s gone.  I know that’s not true, but sometimes, oftentimes, it still hurts.  Sometimes, selfishly, I want her to still be here with me.  I want to be able to call and hear her voice, listen to her laugh, and ask her advice.  I want to still be making memories together.  My mom was one of my best friends.  She would leave me messages with crazy things and ask me the highlights of my day.  She always sought to find the bright side in a situation and encouraged me to do the same.  I want her to have been in my wedding pictures.  In my sister’s wedding pictures.  I want to hug her and say again that I love her.  She gave some of the best hugs.  I want her to be here to help with and spoil grandkids, when we have them.  I want her to be here so I can buy her flowers for mother’s day and see her smile when she walks past them.  Sometimes, adult girls still want their “mommy” on the hard days.  I don’t know that we ever grow out of that.  I don’t know if this day ever gets easier.  I hope so.

  

I’m so thankful for the precious ladies who have been there for us in her absence.  My life has been so graced with women willing to share their time and hearts with me and my sister.  I know that the sentence above is true.  That my mom is with Jesus.  That she’s experiencing more joy than ever before.  She gets to spend every day in His presence.  What could be better than that?  That truth helps, most of the time.  Having that confidence and hope that one day we’ll see her again, on the other side of Heaven.  But what about here and now?  I suppose that’s solely faith.  Because without faith, I don’t know what we’d be doing here.  But I trust that my God does all things well, even when it’s not the answer I want and I don’t understand at all why He didn’t do what I’d asked.  I could and have gotten angry with Him over the answer I received.  But He sees such a larger picture than I do.  Maybe I don’t have to have the answer to my “why?” questions.  Just faith that He’s still good, even in the midst of pain.  

"That's our God. . . . 

We worship a God who might not give us the miracle, 

but He will always give us the comfort."   

- Ina May Huett 

Life After by Katie Ganshert

I hope this day is well for you, whether it's one of smiles and celebration, or one of memories and tears.  Or maybe both.  Sometimes I forget that it's okay to move forward, but still look back and enjoy the memory of what was.  But I know my mom wouldn't have wanted us to mourn forever.  She's laughing and smiling and enjoying Heaven.  She would want the same for us here.  Even if some tears are mingled in with the joy.